Funny Christmas Poems

• I'd like a stocking made for a giant,
  And a meeting house full of toys,
  Then I'd go out in a happy hunt
  For the poor little girls and boys;
  Up the street and down the street,
  And across and over the town,
•  I want a hippopotamus for Christmas I don't think Santa Claus will mind, do you?
  He won't have to use our dirty chimney flue
  Just bring him through the front door, that's the easy thing to do
  I can see me now on Christmas morning, creeping down the stairs
  Oh what joy and what surprise when I open up my eyes
  To see a hippo hero standing there!!!!!!
• Come Christmas day
  I will be full of Christmas spirit
  Buck fizz with my breakfast
  Is only the start of it
  Then a sherry with the vicar
  After the candles have been lit  
• There once was an elf named Fred
  Whose house was of gingerbread.
  Though tasty, these walls
  dissolved in snowfalls
  And also made crumbs in Fred’s bed.!!!
• Another Tie
  "Gee, thanks! Another reindeer tie!"
  Dad says with a sigh,
  as he tries not to cry,
  Christmas joy gone bye-bye.
• All I want for Christmas is a pair of nice young men,
  A football team . League or Union . I don't mind,
  A determined man with plenty of gyms,
  Broad shoulders. Hairy chest. And a tight behind.
• The tempting gifts are tantalizing;
  About opening them, we are fantasizing.
  The holiday foods are appetizing;
  Our excitement and joy are growing and rising;
  Our hearts and minds are harmonizing;
  Jolly Christmas fun we're maximizing!
•  Christmas is a soft warm glow Children playing in the snow
  Decorations on the tree Put on there by Mom and Me
  Candy canes red and white
  A letter to Santa I did write
  Sugar cookies in a row
  Christmas is a soft warm glow!!!!
• The furry great-coat was laid safely away
   With the boots and the cap with its tassel so gay,
   And toasting his toes by a merry wood fire,
   What more could a weary old Santa desire?
   So he puffed at his pipe and remarked to his wife,
   This amply makes up for my strenuous life!  
•  Little Jack Corner
   Sat in the corner,
   Eating of Christmas pie:
   He put in his thumb,
   And pulled out a plum,
   And said, “What a good boy am I!